Bear Down Wildcats

Sidewinder wrote:

Chicat wrote: I hate when someone pulls up to the first pump and doesn't pull all the way to the farthest one to the front. Then I have to squeeze around them and my car is all cockeyed from trying to line it up right. So usually I just back up at an angle and block them in. Fuck them.

Also, if you need to go buy your pack of menthols or whatever, and you're done pumping gas, pull into a parking spot. Nothing worse than seeing three or four cars at a pump not actually pumping gas and then watching as Two-Ton Sally walks as slowly as possibly opening up her package of Ho-Hos as she lifts her fat ass into her car without a care in the world. Don't worry Fat Ass, I didn't have anywhere to be and I love sitting around a gas station waiting for your lard butt to move your car away from a pump after buying convenience store pizza rolls and diet soda.

You forgot the most Hoosier part of the story. While Sally was waddling around the gas station, her brother Jeffy Bob is around the corner at the Walgreen's trying to buy Sudafed. He left his two kids under 5 locked in the rusted-out Buick in the parking lot, of course. When they scan his ID, it of course says that he's at his limit but for the next 20 minutes he argues with the pharmacy technician that there's been a mistake and he's only bought one little pack in the last 6 months. Meanwhile the line there get's longer and longer and longer.....

My sister is a pharmacy tech and has numerous stories just like this. People twitching and scratching at open sores trying desperately to get any kind of over the counter drug that can be cooked up into something stronger.

Her best stories though revolve around old people. The wives of guys on Viagra are especially hilarious.

Ex-wife, turned mormon, has my oldest son (12 yrs old) on summer vacation. Oldest son is autistic, in an IEP here in Colorado, doing well. Mom showers him with presents over the summer (that I pay for, child support-ly), and now she tells me he wants to live there. She has a lawyer all lined up and paid for via the Mormon chuich...sure seems like this has been in the works for awhile. The LDS church is dirty.

That sounds awful CC. Best of luck as you go through it.

1. All churches are dirty
2. Eff Duke

CryptoCat wrote:Ex-wife, turned mormon, has my oldest son (12 yrs old) on summer vacation. Oldest son is autistic, in an IEP here in Colorado, doing well. Mom showers him with presents over the summer (that I pay for, child support-ly), and now she tells me he wants to live there. She has a lawyer all lined up and paid for via the Mormon chuich...sure seems like this has been in the works for awhile. The LDS church is dirty.

Truly awful. Best of luck to you.

Well that's awful. If this truly was a "best situation" for your son you would think she wouldn't need a lawyer. It would just be obvious and you'd go along.

But who the fuck turns Mormon? Don't you usually need to be brainwashed into that shit from birth?

I feel like everything I come across about healthy eating presents some version of this kind of advice:

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Ever grabbed a handful of dirt and ate it? According to physicians and nutrition scientists, that's exactly what you should do. In today's world where access to all kinds of foods is excessively easy, humans have forgotten the edible that's as obvious as the ground you walk on. Our ancestors certainly ate their share of meat, fish, nuts, fats, fruits, and vegetables, but that share was both significantly smaller and less frequent than our own. In addition, hunter-gatherers sustained a level of activity that's necessary to accommodate such foods. In order to allow for even a small amount of food rather than dirt intake, people today need to engage in rigorous physical activity. But just how rigorous?

"You have to do a lot," says Dr. Robert Barnes of the Humanity Health Alliance. "If you're not chasing down bison for three days without resting, you probably should start by running past that sandwich you're thinking about eating."

According to Dr. Barnes and his colleagues, the better choice is also a necessary one: good, healthy, simple dirt. Hunter-gatherers did it, and so should we, although with a much greater portion of dirt than food in order to balance out our comparatively sedative lifestyle.

"People think they're being healthy by exercising and eating leafy greens," says Dr. Barnes. "And then they go and wash their spinach. If people truly want to be healthy, they should suck off the dirt and throw out the spinach."

Many people are now making an effort to adapt to this newer understanding. But even when they do follow sound advice, people commonly look for ways around it. An oft-repeated question is whether mud, which is easier to swallow than plain dirt, is a passable substitute.

"Water is, of course, healthy and necessary," says Dr. Barnes. "But you need to keep it separate from dirt, ideally several hours apart."

A safe rule to follow, according to experts, is to avoid coffee, tea, and alcohol altogether, and to drink plenty of water irrespective of thirst level in the morning and late at night. In the afternoon and early evening, dry dirt should be consumed, with any resulting thirst met with the resistance to drink. Food should be eaten very sparingly, and no more than 70-80 grams per day. Heavy water consumption late at night furthermore ensures frequent trips to the bathroom, which helps avoid continuous sedentary rest throughout the night.

People often want to know if there is a specific kind of dirt they should be eating.

"As long as you're eating some kind of dirt as the near-exclusive part of your daily consumption of solids, you're well on your way to improved health," says Dr. Barnes. "But if you really want to eat the most healthy dirt, head to the dense dirt packed hard under the feet of children playing in a public school playground, as long as you separate out the individual grains of dirt with a sifter before consuming."

Longhorned... after a good meal.

Chicat wrote: But who the fuck turns Mormon? Don't you usually need to be brainwashed into that shit from birth?

Read somewhere that the Mormon missionaries are considered successful if they get one out of 10,000 to convert.

People who don't flush public toilets after a particularly foul #2.

Now that's a Vent!!! Bravo lh

Merkin wrote:

Chicat wrote: But who the fuck turns Mormon? Don't you usually need to be brainwashed into that shit from birth?

Read somewhere that the Mormon missionaries are considered successful if they get one out of 10,000 to convert.

My aunt came home from high school one day as a Mormon convert. Then she successfully converted her entire family. That was in the 60s. Obviously, that family grew.

Alieberman wrote:

Longhorned... after a good meal.

Is that a Dirty Sanchez?

Longhorned wrote: My aunt came home from high school one day as a Mormon convert. Then she successfully converted her entire family. That was in the 60s. Obviously, that family grew.

I could never give these up to become Mormon:

Merkin wrote:

Longhorned wrote: My aunt came home from high school one day as a Mormon convert. Then she successfully converted her entire family. That was in the 60s. Obviously, that family grew.

I could never give these up to become Mormon:

Not even for:



?

Longhorned wrote:

Merkin wrote:

Chicat wrote: But who the fuck turns Mormon? Don't you usually need to be brainwashed into that shit from birth?

Read somewhere that the Mormon missionaries are considered successful if they get one out of 10,000 to convert.

My aunt came home from high school one day as a Mormon convert. Then she successfully converted her entire family. That was in the 60s. Obviously, that family grew.

That was my Halloween costume one year.

I pretty much hate life right now for how it's treating my family. Horrible last 2 months.

It's hard to focus on the positive.

It's really a shame.

No one deserves to go through what my sister, neice, nephew are going through.

Honestly feel helpless in this all.

Got what I thought at the time a crick in my neck on Thursday. However, it won't go away and now the pain is radiating further out. Someone at work thinks it's a pinched nerve. Hurts like a bitch and makes it hard to sleep.

P.S. is it crick or kink in the neck? I guess it depends on where you live or were raised.

Got a ticket at 7:30 am Saturday for going 71-80 mph downhill on an 3-lane Interstate despite a clean driving history for a decade. Freakin' California...

JMarkJohns wrote:Got a ticket at 7:30 am Saturday for going 71-80 mph downhill on an 3-lane Interstate despite a clean driving history for a decade. Freakin' California...

That's because you have out of state plates.

Good way to lose tourists.

azgreg wrote:Got what I thought at the time a crick in my neck on Thursday. However, it won't go away and now the pain is radiating further out. Someone at work thinks it's a pinched nerve. Hurts like a bitch and makes it hard to sleep.

P.S. is it crick or kink in the neck? I guess it depends on where you live or were raised.

Well, it got worse. A rash started to form where the pain is and sure enough I've come down with shingles. I'll be down for a couple of weeks.

Shingles suck.

azgreg wrote:

azgreg wrote:Got what I thought at the time a crick in my neck on Thursday. However, it won't go away and now the pain is radiating further out. Someone at work thinks it's a pinched nerve. Hurts like a bitch and makes it hard to sleep.

P.S. is it crick or kink in the neck? I guess it depends on where you live or were raised.

Well, it got worse. A rash started to form where the pain is and sure enough I've come down with shingles. I'll be down for a couple of weeks.

Having had shingles, you'll basically be on house arrest for 2 weeks because you can kill people who haven't had chicken pox. My advice: if you have home projects, can set up a home workout area and have a few TV shows you want to catch up on, do some combo of the three.

Then come on here and post constantly. When you start believing conspiracy theories about moon landings, there's a problem.

Chicat wrote:

JMarkJohns wrote:Got a ticket at 7:30 am Saturday for going 71-80 mph downhill on an 3-lane Interstate despite a clean driving history for a decade. Freakin' California...

That's because you have out of state plates.

That's exactly what happened to me on the old Cabrillo Freeway in San Diego 12 years ago. Only time I've ever had to go to traffic school. I don't try to stay with the Cali traffic anymore.

CryptoCat wrote:Ex-wife, turned mormon, has my oldest son (12 yrs old) on summer vacation. Oldest son is autistic, in an IEP here in Colorado, doing well. Mom showers him with presents over the summer (that I pay for, child support-ly), and now she tells me he wants to live there. She has a lawyer all lined up and paid for via the Mormon chuich...sure seems like this has been in the works for awhile. The LDS church is dirty.

Something similar happened to my Brother-In-Law a few years ago when he was transferred by the Air Force. He had custody of his kid from 18 months until almost 9 years old and the ex hired a shark of a lawyer while his was passive and he lost him.

I hope this works out better for you. Make sure your lawyer is an asshole.

azgreg wrote:

azgreg wrote:Got what I thought at the time a crick in my neck on Thursday. However, it won't go away and now the pain is radiating further out. Someone at work thinks it's a pinched nerve. Hurts like a bitch and makes it hard to sleep.

P.S. is it crick or kink in the neck? I guess it depends on where you live or were raised.

Well, it got worse. A rash started to form where the pain is and sure enough I've come down with shingles. I'll be down for a couple of weeks.

I came down with them when i was in Italy last winter. It hurt like hell but I wasn't about to let it ruin my vacation.

So I've pretty much had it with humans.

Yep. Humanity sucks. Individually there are a lot of good people in the world, but as a collective we are terrible. Probably a good thing we're on our way to self caused extinction. Let some other species have a chance to fuck things up.

UAdevil wrote:Yep. Humanity sucks. Individually there are a lot of good people in the world, but as a collective we are terrible. Probably a good thing we're on our way to self caused extinction. Let some other species have a chance to fuck things up.

I only wish I could understand why this is true...why is it so easy to be so awful en masse?

Olsondogg wrote:

UAdevil wrote:Yep. Humanity sucks. Individually there are a lot of good people in the world, but as a collective we are terrible. Probably a good thing we're on our way to self caused extinction. Let some other species have a chance to fuck things up.

I only wish I could understand why this is true...why is it so easy to be so awful en masse?

Civilization is an illusion.

[youtube]kkCwFkOZoOY[/youtube]

Toxic immediate family members.

Will maybe ask for advice in a bit, when i can compose a reasonable narrative.

Drivers who made wide turns (e.g. making a left but moving across two lanes to the right to do it)
Drivers who while making a right turn (and having the right-of-way) stop at a green light to allow opposing traffic left hand turners go first
Drivers who start braking as they are reaching a green light
Drivers who go 10 under on a two lane double-solid yellow stripe road
Drivers who tailgate in the right lane and make you change lanes so they can go past
Drivers who leave an unnecessary amount of space between them and the vehicle in front at a stoplight
Drivers who use the center lane as their personal on-ramp to merge with traffic


In short: TUCSON DRIVERS!! (All of the above occurred today while I was running errands)

TheBlackLodge wrote:Drivers who tailgate in the right lane and make you change lanes so they can go past

I would never move left to let someone pass me on the right. If anyone tailgates me in the right lane I would just slow down. The closer they followed, the slower I would go. After all, in the event of him rear-ending me, I would want that car to be going as slow as possible.

catgrad97 wrote:[youtube]kkCwFkOZoOY[/youtube]

No "swivel on it"? For shame. . .

It's going on noon and the electricity went out at 7:30 this morning. 159 homes affected, cause is still unknown. I am starting to become uncomfortably hot and I have a freezer full of meat!

Wait a minute. Are you laughing at me?

A big fuck you to the leaky pipe/drain/whatever the fuck it is that is behind a wall and attached to my main bathroom's tub. Now I have to cut into the damn wall cause I can't afford to pay someone else to do it and then I get to hope that it's a simple/easy fix.

I fucking hate plumbing.

Hey, thanks to the dude who made my burrito on Sunday and decided that was a good day not to wash his hands. I really enjoyed hugging my toilet bowl all of Sunday night/Monday morning!

Haha those are three strong and valid vents in a 10 min span.

I'd laugh too if it didn't hurt my ribs so much.

On a side note, who knew humans had the ability to levitate above a toilet bowl?

Big fuck you to my left eye. Currently have a huge annoying painful stye that has swollen my eye shut.

Also, another fuck you to the neighbor who borrowed my drywall saw and then apparently never gave it back before he moved to california. Fuck you Tom, you said everything was put back. And Fuck Me for not double checking. (yeah, I know, drywall saws aren't that expensive, just fucking annoying to have to buy something I already bought and should have in my tool box)

I really hope there's no mold back behind the wall too.

Maybe this will help you guys.

In ancient Japanese, Indonesian, New Guinea, and Mali cultures, women on their period were forced to live in a hut at the edge of the village until they stopped bleeding and being total psycho bitches.

I'm starting to think we should bring this back...

Chicat wrote:In ancient Japanese, Indonesian, New Guinea, and Mali cultures, women on their period were forced to live in a hut at the edge of the village until they stopped bleeding and being total psycho bitches.

I'm starting to think we should bring this back...

Agree. Never trust something that bleeds for 7 days but doesn't die.

Chicat wrote:In ancient Japanese, Indonesian, New Guinea, and Mali cultures, women on their period were forced to live in a hut at the edge of the village until they stopped bleeding and being total psycho bitches.

I'm starting to think we should bring this back...

At one point of my life I was the only male in a household with 3 women all on the same cycle...

PTSD

Fuck mormonism for indoctrinating/brainwashing my sweet nieces and setting them back even farther in the game of life for being way behind due to mormons views on women...

Chicat wrote:In ancient Japanese, Indonesian, New Guinea, and Mali cultures, women on their period were forced to live in a hut at the edge of the village until they stopped bleeding and being total psycho bitches.

I'm starting to think we should bring this back...

You have a bad attitude about menstruation. I think you need this:

[youtube]ppuMaQ4hZE4[/youtube]

I draw on a different, more positive traditional cultural reaction to menstruation. When I encounter a woman on her period, I have her walk through my property naked in order to keep evil spirits at bay.