Bear Down Wildcats

This makes me laugh so hard tears stream..
An oldy but goody!
ARMAGEDDON

And another one:

Ray Wiley Hubbard is the guy that wrote "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother" made famous by Jerry Jeff Walker

This story gets me to laughin' too

But was the gerbil OK? Too funny

He was scanning her belt line for concealed weapons. Easily explained.

That would make me itchy for a week.

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- 'You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:



Floor 1 -
These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2
- These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:



Floor 5 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:


Floor 6 -
You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store
.


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a
New Wives store just across the street.


The
1st floor has wives that love sex.

The
2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.


The
3rd through
6th floors
have never been visited.

and for the pranksters. . . the edition year and sequence. . .

on speedway in tucson:

Poor guy...

Bet she is still single.

Australia seems like a great place most of the time to live but God every animal there is death

And every Australian dude always has the same attitude to something so fucking weird.

Meh, kangaroos ain't so bad - unless you hit 'em going about 50kph or more - now that I'm scared of.

Solution: don't be out driving on a country road at dusk, and slow the fuck down after full dark.

That hang glider was not in any strife and he knew it. The Roo was probably just trying to let him know to stay away from his hareem.

Edit - now that I think about it, the roo was probably a she, and the glider made her think that there was a wedge-tailed eagle out for a meal at her joey's expense. You don't want to get between a mama and her child, no matter what the species is.

What I am actually scared of in Aussie land is stepping on a snake. Solution: stay on the path and keep your eyes out. They're actually more scared of you than you are of them, so unless you actively threaten them everything will be fine. But Oz has the highest number of poisonous snakes in the world and they are REALLY poisonous, so there isn't much room for error. Hardly anyone dies from snakebite anymore, but it does happen occasionally and even if you don't die, it HURTS.

I also scared of the Irukandji jellyfish. The solution for that one is don't go to the beach in Queensland.

If you were a fan of Dr. Demento type music you might enjoy this new Tucson AM stations (Looks like it might only be temporary):

EDIT: Only lasted that one weekend - now it's The Drive oldies.

Wow. Head shot.

Tekashi’s New Neighbor: “Good to meet you uh... Bob. And you said you’re in insurance sales? Huh... wouldn’t have guessed that...”

My buddy from Norman sent me this. It helps to keep the misery of Wildcat fandom in perspective.

Pondering the location of Forrest Fenn's treasure is a hobby. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fenn_treasure" target="_blank) It leads to many rabbit holes, some more interesting than others. Youse sciencey guys probably already knew that the Mississippi actually flows uphill because sea level is further from the center of the earth at the equator than it is at the poles, and that it is the force of the earth's rotation that causes the river's water to act as it does, such that a cessation in the rotation would result in the Gulf waters flowing back into the river's source in Minnesota. Huh. (http://onetuberadio.com/2014/11/07/why- ... ws-uphill/" target="_blank)

Reminds me of this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Adams_Diggings" target="_blank which was made famous in MacKennas Gold

My neighbor has some advice on how we can all get through these uncertain times...



.... by throwing rocks at hospitals. It might, just might, make someone smile.

Wait, what?

Your neighbor is a complete asstool.

If you haven’t thrown a rock at a hospital, have you really done your part to build community in these trying times?

Hospitals, those temples to secular relativism, are science's affront to the power of prayer. Laws against vandalizing hospitals violate freedom of religion. This is exactly how gay marriage got started .... with such a simple little thing as not be allowed to throw a rock for jesus.

How do I respond to this email I just received today:

Dear Beloved Brother/Sister TO HELP THE ORPHANAGE HOME


Good Day

I am Mrs.Lisa Williams a citizen of United Kingdom but married my
Late husband of blessed memory Mr. James Williams who is an oil
explorer with Shell petroleum in
Malaysia for fifteen years. Both of us are from United Kingdom.Before
he died in the year 2018. We were married for twenty five years
without a child. My husband died after a brief illness that lasted for
only four nights. Since his death I too have been battling with
Cancer and partial stroke for some time as per the diagnose by my
Doctor, very sick and admitted in the hospital bed permanently without
no movement as I need to go in for surgical operation and I suffered
partial stroke that affected my tongue and my speech as well.

When my late Husband was alive he deposited a substantial amount of
money in Millions of dollars with the over sea bank Four Million,
Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only.[$4,500 000.00].
Recently, my doctor told me that I have only 1 one month to live in
this world due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my
stroke sickness. Having known my condition of health, I decided to
donate this fund to either a charity/orphanage home,Motherless baby
homes and for the work of GOD as my late Husband directed before his
death as to use funds to help the poor and the less privileged in your
country.

For these reasons, I am seeking for a devoted God fearing Man or
Woman individual /company that will manage this funds as instructed
herein. I want this organization or individual to use this funds in
all sincerity ,honesty, for charity homes (motherless homes),
orphanages, and widows in the world.Although, I took this decision
because I don't have any child that will inherit this funds Hence the
reasons for my getting in touch with you in writing this mail.

I hope this mail will be receive with good faith.Hoping to hearing
from you soonest as to instruct you what to do next.


Yours faithfully.


Mrs.Lisa Williams

Ali, if you pay me $10,000, I will advise you on how to respond