What I Think

[Longhorned]

To all you little posters who delude yourselves instead of watching the games, I'm offering up another thread to tell you what I think. Surely if I fall across your doorstep and grab onto your leg as you step through the threshold, you'll drag me in with you. And we'll sit like reverends in your drawing room, your appearance tidy and somewhat foppish as you hang on every word I convey. And you'll wince with each new opinion I deliver, so unready as you'll be to receive such observations that defy your deepest convictions held so uncritically and shared so fully among yourselves. And I shall go on and on, answering to no higher authority than the dictates of my own casual observations that defy consistency and statistics, which are instruments of the deluded. So sit up straight and embrace my presence because your living room is now my auditorium. And remember: Should you reject any of my claims as absurd, the burden is on you to explain why it's so. I will be judging the quality of all responses as well. You'll hardly remember a time before my arrival.

[Reydituto]

I bow before your genius and bravery to tell it like you think it is ...

[Spaceman Spiff]

In February, you are supposed to make them SHIVER with every opinion you deliver, not wince. Don McLean would be rolling over in his grave if he wasn't broadcasting on the Pac 12 network.

[ghostwhitehorse]

In February, you are supposed to make them SHIVER with every opinion you deliver, not wince. Don McLean would be rolling over in his grave if he wasn't broadcasting on the Pac 12 network.

Are you saying there is a difference? Aside from graves are usually quieter. . .

[Spaceman Spiff]

In February, you are supposed to make them SHIVER with every opinion you deliver, not wince. Don McLean would be rolling over in his grave if he wasn't broadcasting on the Pac 12 network.

Are you saying there is a difference? Aside from graves are usually quieter. . .

Whether you get into a grave doesn't depend on your cable provider.

[Chicat]

I bow before your genius and bravery to tell it like you think it is ...

I'm bowing too. But because I'm vomiting up my lunch. I don't think I've ever read an OP I disagreed with more. I might have to now hunt Longhorned down in his office of ivy covered walls, fighting off pasty chubby coeds to give that ne'er-do-well a real piece of my mind.

For one thing, I neither have the strength nor the inclination to drag anyone through my threshold and I mean that literally, figuratively, spiritually, and metaphorically. Secondly, I will appear FULLY foppish. I do nothing half-assed. Third, and most important, he will never get the opportunity to bloviate unendingly because I have been known to wax on and on to the point of guests having died on my chaise lounge due to a bladder infection brought on by their inability to attend the restroom. This was caused by the fact they were never afforded the opportunity to get a word in edgewise in order to ask where the restroom is! I am like a human kidney stone. And I actually have no restroom. I find that when people are forced to use a corner of the room they must continue to hear my diatribe on the relative merits of the 1-3-1 defense.

So our so-called Professor Longhorned can drag himself(!) across my threshold and through a river of urine stemming from the non-stop party I've been throwing since last Thursday for all I care! But I will see him in hell before I allow him to utter even one sentence.

[gumby]

To all you little posters who delude yourselves instead of watching the games, I'm offering up another thread to tell you what I think. Surely if I fall across your doorstep and grab onto your leg as you step through the threshold, you'll drag me in with you. And we'll sit like reverends in your drawing room, your appearance tidy and somewhat foppish as you hang on every word I convey. And you'll wince with each new opinion I deliver, so unready as you'll be to receive such observations that defy your deepest convictions held so uncritically and shared so fully among yourselves. And I shall go on and on, answering to no higher authority than the dictates of my own casual observations that defy consistency and statistics, which are instruments of the deluded. So sit up straight and embrace my presence because your living room is now my auditorium. And remember: Should you reject any of my claims as absurd, the burden is on you to explain why it's so. I will be judging the quality of all responses as well. You'll hardly remember a time before my arrival.

Are you willing to engage in a Q and A session? Or is this knowledge proprietary to premium platforms?

[Daryl Zero]

My leg fell asleep while I was reading the OP. Is that a bad sign?

[Reydituto]

I might have to now hunt Longhorned down in his office of ivy covered walls, fighting off pasty chubby coeds to give that ne'er-do-well a real piece of my mind.

I would request that when LH responds to this (also a work of genius for its commitment to the prize), he tells us more about the pasty chubby coeds, I missed that phenomenon while attending UA, and am genuinely curious.

I am like a human kidney stone.

This should go on your tombstone, or rather, the entrance to your private mausoleum.

[Chicat]

I see that my response rendered Professor Loquacious speechless. You're welcome America.

I am like a human kidney stone.

This should go on your tombstone, or rather, the entrance to your private mausoleum.

It will be written on the banner that flies high above the mainsail of the longboat that ushers my rotting corpse to the gates of Valhalla. Ever since my great great uncle accidentally set his dinghy on fire it's been Viking funerals for all the first born males in my family. Some have even come after death. Because without tradition, who are we? Probably Sun Devil basketball fans or worse...

[77HoyaCat4Ever]

Time for a nap